The Best Borderline Personality Disorder Books for Understanding and Coping

The Best Borderline Personality Disorder Books for Understanding and Coping

Borderline personality disorder (BPD) is a serious mental illness. It causes unstable moods, behavior, and relationships. If you or someone you love has BPD, reading can help. The right books explain BPD in simple terms. They give tools for managing intense emotions and improving relationships.

This article reviews the top BPD books. These picks come from experts and people with lived experience. Most combine education, skills, stories, and hope. The list has options for any BPD role – patient, loved one, clinician. We’ll start with general overviews and move to more specific topics.

Understanding Borderline Personality Disorder Books

1. I Hate You – Don’t Leave Me by Jerold J. Kreisman

This is a classic, reader-friendly introduction to BPD. Dr. Kreisman uses straightforward language to define BPD’s causes, traits, and treatments. Real-life vignettes from his patients add realism. The book’s second edition has new material on other disorders, medications, and more.

2. The Buddha and the Borderline by B. Alan Krill

This unique book blends Western psychology and Buddhist wisdom. Dr. Krill has decades of BPD experience as a patient and therapist. His prose is lyrical yet understandable. He offers mindfulness practices to cultivate self-awareness and acceptance.

3. The Borderline Personality Disorder Survival Guide by Alex L. Chapman and Kim L. Gratz

Written by two leading BPD psychologists, this book covers it all. It has an overview of BPD’s causes, patterns, and treatments. But it also teaches DBT, CBT, and other coping skills. The writing is clear, with stories that bring concepts to life.

Borderline Personality Disorder Self-Help Books

4. The Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Workbook by Matthew McKay, Jeffrey C. Wood, and Jeffrey Brantley

Dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) is the gold-standard treatment for BPD. This workbook teaches all four DBT skill modules – mindfulness, distress tolerance, emotion regulation, and interpersonal effectiveness. Short lessons and worksheets make the exercises easy to practice.

5. The Borderline Personality Disorder Workbook by Paul T. Mason and Randi Kreger

This comprehensive workbook has tools to manage BPD’s most challenging symptoms. There are exercises for mindfulness, emotional intelligence, healthy thinking, and communicating needs. It shows how to exit the cycle of intense emotions and impulsive behavior.

6. The Dialectical Behavior Therapy Diary by Matthew McKay and Jeffrey C. Wood

This skills diary complements DBT treatment or books. Dated entries prompt writing about thoughts, feelings, and urges – and noting which skills were used. Examples and quotes inspire application of mindfulness and other practices.

Books for Loved Ones of Someone with BPD

7. Stop Walking on Eggshells by Paul T. Mason and Randi Kreger

This classic book helps friends, partners, and family navigate a BPD relationship. It explains the disorder’s cycles in simple terms. And it teaches strategies for defusing crises and setting boundaries. Many readers say it was life-changing.

8. Loving Someone with Borderline Personality Disorder by Shari Y. Manning

Manning draws from years of personal and professional experience. Her book offers strategies to love without rescuing and communicate without attacking. It encourages self-care for the non-BPD partner too. The tone is compassionate and hopeful.

9. Borderline Personality Disorder Demystified by Robert O. Friedel

This book’s goal is better understanding of BPD for loved ones. It has clear explanations of BPD’s root causes, intense emotions, impulsive behaviors, and frantic efforts to avoid abandonment. Case studies and tips promote patience and wise responding.

Professional Borderline Personality Disorder Books

10. Cognitive-Behavioral Treatment of Borderline Personality Disorder by Marsha M. Linehan

The founder of DBT explains her pioneering treatment approach in depth. This technical manual is most useful for therapists and students. But some courageous patients have found it enlightening too. Linehan’s ideas grow from her own struggle with intense emotions.

11. The Borderline Personality Disorder Survival Guide for Family and Friends by Alex L. Chapman and Kim L. Gratz

This companion to the authors’ patient guide has specific advice for loved ones. It covers the challenges of BPD relationships and effective communication strategies. Lists of dos and don’ts make key points easily understandable.

12. Overcoming Borderline Personality Disorder: A Family Guide for Healing and Change by Valerie Porr

As both a therapist and family member, Porr offers a balanced perspective. She combines psychoeducation about BPD with optimism about recovery. Her book stresses self-care, boundaries, and building a united front against the disorder.

Conclusion

Borderline personality disorder can feel overwhelming. But books offer hope, insight, and practical advice. General titles like “I Hate You – Don’t Leave Me” provide an empathetic introduction. Workbooks teach coping strategies from evidence-based treatments like DBT. Loved ones find tips for healthy relationships and self-care in books like “Stop Walking on Eggshells.”

No single book has all the answers. But reading about BPD from diverse perspectives can promote insight. Over time, putting strategies into practice can bring relief and progress. For those impacted by BPD’s rollercoaster of emotions and behaviors, education and skills are powerful tools.

FAQs

What causes borderline personality disorder?

BPD likely results from a combination of genetic vulnerability and environmental factors like childhood trauma or neglect. Brain imaging shows differences in areas controlling emotion and impulsivity.

Is BPD a lifelong disorder?

BPD was once considered untreatable, but that view is outdated. Most experts now believe many patients can achieve full recovery with comprehensive treatment like DBT and self-help skills.

Does BPD make you a bad person?

No – people with BPD are not bad or manipulative. They experience emotional pain that causes outbursts and extreme behavior. Building coping skills helps control intense emotions.

How can I get my loved one into BPD treatment?

You can’t force someone into treatment, but you can stop enabling and set boundaries. Consult a therapist about motivational strategies. Don’t give up – most people with BPD do eventually enter treatment.

What should I avoid saying to someone with BPD?

Avoid judgmental statements like “You’re overreacting” or minimizing their feelings. Don’t become antagonistic or make threats in the heat of the moment. Stay calm and compassionate.